Because I do strange things

I wish there was a reason, sadly there isn’t. Take for instance my make up addiction which it is undoubtedlyout of control. Now if only I was buying stuff compulsively rather than just read about it! But I figure even though the latter is easier on my pocket and bad for my eyes I’ve already done all the damage i could do to my peepers! (see that! peepers!! a make up blog term!!) On average I read 8 make up and fashion blogs daily. Is that a bit much?

Another odd thing I like to do is to convince myself that I will get to something in a few minutes. Like I will wake up after 5 minutes when I know if I close my eyes I will snooze for the next hour. And I do and then I wake up and its 9 am!

Or I’ll come back home from my other home, change into my pjs and get into bed all the while telling myself that I will get up in five minutes, take my lenses off and wash off the mascara but what do I end up doing? Snuggle into the  depths of the best comforter in the world till I’m unconscious (I dont do sleep, I do awake and unconscious!) Last night after a repeat telecast of the same I woke up while it was still dark and in the light from the tv, which was obviously still switched on, I read the time as 12 am. So proud was I that I had woken up after 15 minutes that I went and took my lenses out, washed my face put on my glasses and headed straight to check my email because somebody could have emailed me in the past 15 minutes! I see the computer clock while  gmail loads and what time is it? 4 AM. That is what time it is! No wonder I felt rested!! Since I had no new mail (as no body loves me) and the programme I wanted to watch at midnight was playing at 4 too I watched my half hour of silly bollywood style romance before going to sleep again.

Does this count as an update? Recently everytime I’ve thought about updating I couldnt figure out what would count as an update. So I convinced myself I had forgotten how to blog but apparently not as I’m still capable to typing out 415 words of drivel. Yes you just read four hundred and fifteen words of utter nonsense! Thank you though!

I think I broke myself!

Owl, Hem and I have been running, a lot. Even though I’m the slacker, today was odd. I’d like to blame it on the weather coz the UAE has this weird weather which tires you out even if you just sit in one spot all day! But really I think its just me. This is what happens when I behave like a complete sloth monkey for months on end and then ruwalk (my acronym, my trademark ) 3.4 kms.Today’s total was 5 kms and had it not been for Owlie’s philosophy of mind over body it would have been zero And now it feels like I did something bad to my legs. They don’t like me anymore Also I reactivated my sweat glands today. I’m the girl who does not sweat. Ever. Today though, something clicked into place or broke… who knows and really who cares? Also TMI?

So other than cancelling out all effects of the ruwalk by consuming trays of Owl-made caramel popcorn I have also been promoted… sort of. That is if you count being given an office and a new job description, which doesnt involve getting masses of documents signed, a promotion. The irony of this situation is the fact that this happened because I’m quitting in four months and the junglee office people wanted me to hand over all my stuff now so that people have time to orient themselves to the new tasks. Notice how I said people?? Yup my job has been split between three people!!! So I’m paying them back by going to work late and leaving a little earlier than the 10.5 hours I’m supposed to work everyday. I figure all that over time I did these past two years ought be enough to cover up my slack now.

So guess what they are making the always-late-slacker do? I’m writing Internal Control policies. Did I shock you enough for the day? Now please tell me if they knew I was capable of doing this all along should this not have been given to me before I told them I quit! Also despite the economic crisis, since we are apparently capable of hiring new people, a little monetary incentive would have been good!

Rant over.

Like?

A cool breeze, cups of tea, stairs, cars, noise, crazy conversations, confessions, discussions… he smiles, she says something silly because she can and he laughs and then he tells her he loves her. And she says nothing and then she says i like you too because she is stupid. There are no fireworks, flowers, drums or anything filmy… not even a minor car accident to mark the moment but then does such a moment need an external something to become significant? Who says there is beauty in perfection! It was perfect, it was ours and nothing could have made it any more memorable than those words and all that there was behind them.

I think in that moment, sitting on the steps behind a building in Qusais, drinking chai, Allah mian made me the luckiest girl alive. I couldn’t have asked for more, I wouldn’t have asked for perfect.

It wont be long now.

Zariwale nile aasman ke tale

Because Owl asked and Hem double teamed.

These are the rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged.

Ek: I tend to do extremes. If I clean it will be everything or nothing at all. Either I will work all 11 hours or I will read an e-book  I have pdfed and renamed something daft like expenses.

Do: I can only count to 30 in urdu.

Teen: I really truly google everything and everyone. Chances are I’ve googled you…countless times.

Chaar: I am an obsessive shopper if not a compulsive one. Something random like the color purple or a coffee maker have the power to make me obsess about them until I possess the article I desire. This also leads to some rather severe buyer’s remorse.

Paanch: No one can make me feel as guilty as I myself can. I am my own culprit and my own police.

Cheh: Songs, listened to in a certain mood, send shivers down my spine.

Saat: As much as I like bracelets I hardly wear any during the day as I cant type with anything on my hands and around my arms.

Aanth: When I go to work I look like Andy Sachs pre-make over except with the addition of spectacles and braided hair.

Noe: The number of typos I have in one sentence is horrendous. I blame it on a faulty keyboard and my typing speed

Dus: I am trying to type less exclamation points and smiley faces which has resulted in all reactions being either lols or aww. How incredibly silly.

Gyarah: I can’t write in roman urdu but I still try to the detriment of everyone.

Baarah: When I’m sad and lonely I go to the cinema and have a giant ice cream cone for dinner. Result: insane, silly bliss.

Teyrah: I suck at being friends. My most recent stupidity is not replying to any comments, phone calls, smses, emails or fb posts from everyone. How idiotic!

Choodah: I have never made biryani and I don’t get the fuss made about it.

Pandrah: I firmly believe oranges have a shelf life of six months

Soolah: Is what I was 7 years ago.

This makes 31 weird things to be listed on this blog. That is ALOT of weird!!

I tag Meow, Karachiite, Osama and Altamash.

Brilliant things on a not so brilliant Thursday morning

- What about now playing on loop (Daughtry)

- Jane Austen

- James McAvoy

- Anne Hathaway

- Chick flicks (Becoming Jane)

- Crying jags

- Loss of all semblance of control

On second thought, those last two things, not so brilliant after all.

When it rains it pours

You know how the title to something should relate to its content, well my titles either match or they don’t for the simple reason that i cannot start writing a post with out one. And since i don’t know what I’m going to be saying sometimes there is just no relation what so ever. Just like now, I have no idea what I’m going to be rambling about but it is going to be something since i feel like going on nonsensically.

It is 2:52 am on Saturday the 24th. It is also the 6th day of my 22 day vacation. Abba turned 52 yesterday and Fauzan is 5 today. This thunder storm that is raging outside tonight  is not in the least relaxing. For the first time this noise it is making, clattering against the  AC is getting to me. For the first time I see no beauty only the inconvenience. Why so jaded? Who the hell knows anymore.

I’m trying to become a Karachiite once again, not the idealist I was who only remembered the things she missed and chose to not see what it had become. I have discovered more good than bad. Surprisingly I’m finding that I wont be leaving so much behind after all. Gyms, restaurants, music, theater, movies are all there. There are even some decent, well one so far, fm station. Not too bad for a city seen only through the internet

I thought when all this happened (if it ever did) I would feel different, somehow. I don’t think that was a conscious thought as I would never want myself to morph into one of those blabbering, blushing, serial bride people but still a change would be expected. What happened, nothing. Well nothing after that one initial week of yes, no, maybe, i don’t know, leave me aloneee. I’m still selfish, brash, loud, sarcastic, funny, clownish, girly, miss-i-google-everything, shopaholic, lover of red toe nails I always have been. I like that.

The best part about the whole thing is that everything was already done. There was almost no awkwardness, no need to be pretentious, to be better than I am, to be just that girl I would have thought I should be. I’m not and he knows that. That for me is enough, the fact that I can just be, no pretenses.

So I think where I am trying to go with all of this is that I feel so utterly lucky. That this was Allah Mian’s plan all the time and when I was busy writing stupidly depressing blog posts He was just nodding his head at me wishing I could be just a little more patient. (I need to to find out what A was thinking!) So this is my thank you Allah Mian post. Its about time for one of these, so thank you! You are The best.

I think my blogging rut might have to do with the lack of ranting material I have. Well actually I have work and how I hate it and wish it to the bottomest pools of lava in the lowest level of hell but I wont because i don’t think its fair. How can I justify ranting about something so inconsequential and stupid as work especially when I’m going to be rid of it so so soon. Maybe I should just open another page onto the blog and write there and change the now supremely idiotic and teenagish tagline. Like a starting on a new page. Hopefully it’ll help the itch in coming back. I miss it so.  I miss the clarity and the epiphanies which come to me on this page. None of this is thought out and always when I start, I write down things which weren’t ever thought about, so their sudden appearance is this Aha moment I need. Sanity, pure and simple.

Ive never understood how why my writing has mood swings (compare paragraph 2 to 6). Even when I don’t want the mood to change I think the mood I’m in displays itself as do the consequent changes. Maybe this is peculiar to me or maybe I just haven’t paid much attention to other people’s writing. I should. Also should comment. I hold the supreme laziness responsible.

Can someone please tell me why I suddenly find shoe shopping on the internet so much more attractive than in malls? I went to four shops today, all of which were on sale and bought not one shoe. Shameful.

I’m finally sleepy and because I make a bad insomniac I will now oversleep and miss cake baking time. Have to wake up in time for strawberry shopping otherwise Abba’s strawberry jam sponge will remain myth. But then there are always cupcakes with frosting and sprinkles…

Dil ke armaan

And I was so looking forward to sunning myelf at the beach

Rain

This is what i woke up to at 9:20 am.

Here I am

So much more to say
So much to be done
Don’t you trick me out
We shall overcome*

May 2009 be kind to all of us.

*Love remains the same – Gavin Rossdale

Changes…

I think I like the new wordpress interface. There is more stuff around now and more structure I think. The comments part I love especially the quick edit option.

This post is going to be beyond bad. I’m telling you beforehand so don’t blame me later…

Any mojo I had is so totally gone! I have had no desire whatsoever to come to this page. That is really the first time i have gone to that extreme even though my blogging graph has had its peaks and troughs. I cant figure out why i don’t even want to write nowadays… maybe it is because I spend an unhealthy amount of time on gchat or that all my blog friends are now a phone call away so communication takes place over much more personal mediums. It even might be that I just don’t think i can formulate an entertaining paragraph. Its been a long time since i even poked fun at myself here…

But then there is that other thing. You know when your life suddenly becomes interesting and scary intimidating (  I think is the word that fits) suddenly nothing and everything makes sense but putting it all down somewhere to revisit some time later becomes a little impossible. There is just too much happening in this minuscule window of time and how do I even begin to make sense of it? How do i arrange everything?? In order of relevance, excitement, experience or various moments of enormous self doubt when all I can do is thank Allah Mian for everything and just leave it at that. Knowing self analysis might not be the best strategy all I can do is command Mr. Brain to stfu and let yourself drift. Is that called living in the moment? Frankly I don’t know.

Why am i so bloody ambiguous??

The easiest way i think would be chronological so this is what has been up:

Wednesday, 3rd December: Russell Peters. There are no words. He was beyond brilliant, it was raining that night and Ray, though tired, was amazing company.

Sunday, 7th December: I was engaged to A (Hajj day in the UAE). I don’t think I can elaborate.  He reads the blog and calling him A is rather pointless! Also I’m not going to on about him here at all

Monday, 8th December: Eid Al Adha. Self explanatory.

Wednesday, 10th December: Maroon 5!! Hemmie took me to what was a pretty good concert ( i only wanted to hear She will be loved and i wasnt disappointed). Production wise it was quite brilliant, acoustics were good, no bone crushing crowds and awesome weather Also Adam Levine sounds like a girl when he speaks…

Sunday, 14th December: Heath Ledger night at the Wafi Roof top Gardens. I wanted to do this ever since i heard of the concept. Its this under the stars kinda thing… movie being projected on a screen up front, bean bags to slouch on scattered across a terrace. Fun, but then how can a back to back screening of A Knight’s Tale and 10 Things I Hate About You with Ray not be

Monday, 15th December: Skin. Its an awesome movie, something I’d highly recommend. We as in Jummy and I, went to the Gala screening of the movie at the Madinat Theatre as a part of the Dubai International Film Festival. I knew next to nothing about the movie which was a good thing because the experience was lovely.

This is roughly what has been happening in December. Whew!

And Jummy, I havent forgotten about the tag

Tell me…

what your 23rd year was like. I want to try and get as many responses as possible and then compare them with mine on the 14th of the next year.

So come on, spill the beans